This is not love: 6 "romantic" actions that should alert you
Speaking about the alarming bells at the beginning of the relationship, we usually think about explicit signs pointing to the presence of a problem – open aggression, flirt with other people, rudeness. However, not only these symptoms can signal the possible difficulties – sometimes it is the acts that we accept for sincere care and attention are the main markers of the upcoming collapse of relationships.
The beginning of the relationship is always bright and interesting times when all the qualities of the partner seem to us attractive, and on the world we look through the pink glasses. But even at this excellent period, there are situations that should be alerted by us and cause concern – unconditionally, in such cases a context is important: some act may look like an innocent joke, manifestation of care or sincere interest, however, the basis of what is happening may be obsessive, Desire to control or pathological jealousy. Together with a psychologist, Olga Romanov, we deal with which romantic gestures sign about the problem.
Passionate recognition and affectionate nicknames
Many of us sincerely like recognition in love or some specially focused words, but for the appearance of such proximity between two people, of course, must pass for a while for which you can at least get to know each other. And if a person literally calls you a "baby" or "bupsik," the question arises: if he is remembered, what is your name, or such definitions do not have an individual orientation for him, and there is still such "kids" and "bupsiks" lots of?
Approximately strange and unreliable recognition of love and other revelations, when you and a person are still in the first stage of relationships. It is very likely that he likes to scatter with words and does not invest in them – he belongs to you frivolously or dreams to get the desired, guided by a stereotype that the woman "loves the ears".
Endless messages in messenger
Of course, it’s nice to get a message from your loved one or a warm greeting in the morning. But sometimes a partner is either so confident, or simply trying to take you to control that his messages are too much for the day. There is a feeling that he really has nothing to do, except to be interested in you and your life: the fact that you are worn, that you ate for breakfast, what you do and so on. Some of this behavior seems incredibly cute, others – incredibly annoying and disturbing personal boundaries, so serves as a good reason to say goodbye to the unlucky cavalier.
Hints for marriage, joint living, children
At the same time you are familiar with just a couple of months and have not yet managed to remember some important information about the new partner. If a man says that, in his opinion, wants to hear any girl, but absolutely not thinking about relevance, it means that he has certain plans for this girl, which is unlikely to fit marriage and joint accommodation. Most likely, you are in front of you a typical pickup, which has no other options, except to bring the relationship to a closer level to obtain the desired. In any case, such a behavior of a unconscious man should alert.
Too active activities in social networks
I barely acquainted with you, a man changes status in social networks, places your common photos, marks you on each of them, proposes to create shared pages, makes you accounts. Such active activity leads to suspicions – either this person is really so absorbed by new relations, which cannot be kept in hand, or it thus tries to control you that ultimately lead to the development of toxic communication. One way or another, such behavior is not the norm and definitely requires your attention.
Lack of life
Imagine: You got acquainted with a man who has friends, hobbies, work, but as soon as you started to communicate more tightly, all of the above disappeared as a magic. Now the meaning of his life is concluded in you, and he is not shyful to you to report regularly, hinting that you should also throw everything from my own sake. On the one hand, such a immersion in the identity of its potential half may look like real love, and on the other – such behavior is characteristic of the absuses, for which it is extremely important to deprive the victim of her own life, hobbies, work and environment, to use it at a convenient moment to use her loneliness (Read also: 11 signs of emotional absuse: how to recognize and protect against psychological violence).
Agree, nice to meet a person who is in love with you, says compliments in non-stop mode and rejoices to each joint moment. True, there is a nuance in such respects – if you suddenly arouse discontent with a person, prone to such manifestations of love, his grace is very quickly replaced by anger. For example, you warmly slept at night instead of answering his confessions, did not take the phone when he wanted to admire you, because I donated a quarterly report, did not have time to answer SMS with a romantic subtext – it would seem that there would be quite household situations that are not Must cause a conflict, but everything turns out otherwise, and your partner suddenly accuses you in inattention / indifference / absence of feelings for it.