How to change a guy for the better?
Sometimes it happens that the person meets you and at first glance you decide: what a misery. He is inadequate, strange, evil and jokes is stupid. But then the time passes and it becomes suddenly clear that it catches the kindness, sensitivity, understanding. Only now it does not want to show it, for some reason, considering that positive feelings and emotions carry only pain and suffering. It seems that his cherished dream – Get rid of feelings in general, to become a robot, the life of which is directed only to the satisfaction of the most primitive desires. But you know that he is not like that and this mask doesn’t go at all, she shares him, that’s just he refuses to understand and recognize.
Photo Gallery: How to change the guy for the better?
How to change a guy for the better? How to help him understand that in the world everything is color, and not black? How to save him, from him? It is worth noting right away that it is very difficult to deal with such people. They repel those who do not fit into their life concepts. Even knowing that this is a wonderful person. He can call you an angel and avoid meetings because of this. You may awaken in it feelings, and so strong that he will just be afraid of them. In addition, there are always friends next to him who tell about what he does everything correctly. And, often, it sincerely seems to be that it will be better. They do not even realize that their close man is already on the edge of the cliff, and they pushed him down. So if you know his friends well, try to explain to them that you should not indulge in this guy in his desire to be bad. If they do not want, then let them not dissuade, but at least stop praising him.
In order to understand how to change the guy for the better, you need to know the reasons for his behavior. Good people never try to seem bad just so. There are reasons and they lick in childhood. And, most often, in the family.
Perhaps the guy simply developed a complex of dislike. It happens when children live in incomplete families, especially if there is no father, not a mother. And parents are alive and healthy, just they are not interested in their children. In such families, dad, usually, is unknown where, and mom, appears once a year, gives something and disappears. Ask a young man, perhaps he grew up with her grandparents, and he just lacked maternal love. By the way, the lack of this is, even visible by behavior. Such young people love to caress and hug so that they involuntarily want to scold him, like a little child, stroking on the head and say that everything will be fine.
If so, try to learn how to learn about his childhood, relationships with relatives and friends. If your guy is distinguished by an outstanding mind and likes to say that in childhood it was interested only in books, be sure that in fact, it was just repelled. In childhood, we do not know how to appreciate the mind and erudition. Therefore, most likely, the yard companies were not perceived, so he decided to be a malicious genius, a mega-brain, to protect himself from dislike.
In fact, such people really need love, understanding and kindness. But, they deny it, even before themselves. Therefore, you have to spend many times and effort to convince the person that his views are wrong and you need to live in harmony and you can live.
Hate to me – Here is another basic reason for the desire to be bad. It does not matter, this is a young man or denies, but he hates and prizes himself. The reason for this can be a lot: unsuccessful specialization at the university, lack of advancing in a career, not particularly attractive appearance and other. He flatly refuses to accept what if you love it with all the minuses, then why he can not love himself.
Because of a negative attitude to his own person, such a person simply can not believe that he needs someone in this world. Often, for the mask of evil genius, a very sensitive soul hides, which is easy to offend. There are too many of these insults, so he repels people to again nobody wounded.
You will have to make a very long time through its armor to change this guy for the better. It will take place for one month until he understands that you love it «For just like that». You have to make this person love yourself, make you believe in yourself and open. But the violent methods are not suitable. Need to act very thin. Never talk about something like this is an indisputable fact. Even if in reality it is. Just let him eat for reflection, and do not argue, wanting, by all means, to defend your opinion. This behavior simply will push him out, makes stubborn and closes. It is just necessary to tell him cases from life, as if, about between other things, remember the opinions and fate of various people, in general, to say what can break his unhealthy reality.
Never make this person do something. If you are loyal, then he will do everything because of the inner kindness. And yet: do not say that he is good. Never under no circumstances. Praise, support, but do not use the wording «you – good». Such people perceive these words as a personal insult. He fought for so many years for the title «the worst person on the planet itself», and you so easily crumble all the fruits of his efforts. The more you will say that he is good, the more he will prove his negativeness. Not even wanting this, even knowing that it will help to hurt much, he will turn to the end. His stubbornness and your unshakable judgments will lead to quarrels and insults. Therefore, pretend that you fully agree, and persuade it. Subconsciously, imperceptibly, do everything so that he remembers about his kindness and ceased to be afraid of.
Surround your young man with love and care. Just do not overcome the stick and do not play the role of mom. Do everything moderately, but so that he felt that it really needs someone that he loves and respect. Even if he will oppose everything, sooner or later the wall will collapse and the mask will fall. And, at that moment, he will finally be able to show all what you saw in his soul and admits that he – good.